The Commandments of Relocating Oneself Across Campus

As part of our back to school routine, I discovered that Stephanie LOVES my office.  Mostly, I think, because I keep yogurt in the fridge at all times, and she is given unlimited access to tape and permission to attach as many periodic tables to my walls, windows, desk, and file cabinet as she would like.  I get extra time to work, she has fun, it's a win-win.  The walk to my office from daycare is the real adventure.  It takes me nine minutes at a leisurely pace alone door to door.  The return trip with Stephanie takes 20 minutes.  How does one more than double the walk time?  If you have to ask yourself that, you haven't recently walked anywhere with a toddler so allow me to fill you in.  First and foremost, items from nature shall be collected, even at the peril of collecting in the middle of the road.  Rocks, acorns, pine cones and leaves are the most coveted, and they shall be collected in triplicate ("One for Mommy, one for Daddy and one for Stephie").  We shall stop a minimum of five times to exchange items, as turns shall be taken as to the person that is permitted to carry the stuffed animal, the blanket and the artwork from school.  In the event that any litterbugs have preceded us, do not worry, as all trash shall be removed from the path and placed in the proper receptacle.  And then, of course, the series of benches outside of my building shall be used as a series of balance beams.  And finally we arrive at my building.  Before we can actually go into my office, we shall cross Turtle River (if you are unfamiliar with Turtle River, may I recommend you check out the Dora the Explorer book series from your local library?).  Turtle River is the long bench in front of my office.  One shall sit on the bench, put on a life jacket, remove shoes (as shoes are apparently not required in a boat), and scoot the length of the bench until reaching my office (at the very end of the very long bench... excuse me, I mean Turtle River).  And, finally, arrival in my office.  At which point, the potty is required, which involves re-locking the office and heading down the hallway (fortunately, at least, in the opposite direction of Turtle River).  Once we are back to my office, however, she will make herself useful by removing my trash and recycling from my office and placing them into the proper bins in the hall way, wipe down my desk with a wet cloth, and then get to work eating all of my yogurt and taping up periodic tables.  In the mean time, I get to grade and email and clear my desk for the day, and she is happy to run to the printer for me in the event that I print something.  Win-win office time, with the adventure to get there to boot.